Tuesday, March 29, 2005

O is for Ohmifarkingshit

Back from a trip up to our hostile and always giving us water trouble but shopping is cheap friendly neighbour's capital. Feeling tired but nonetheless, still a rather enjoyable trip.

Friends are asking how is the trip, and I go so-so lor. nothing much happened. Unlike ah lim, a small small executive who gets acquainted with a financial consultant on the plane. He even get to boast about knowing the sweet and beautiful pianist who tried to smoke him on a Rachmaninov's number. Poor me, I'm on a coach who got stuck at the ohmifarkingshit 2nd link into our friendly neighbour. I can only tell my friends I only had 2 hours of sleep before rushing out to catch the coach and feeling like shit for having a little to many beer the night before. I am not a beer person, in fact I am not even a alcohol. I am not lim buey tor lorrr. I am lim liao eh torrrrr but tor in secluded place lorrr. Jam are horrible stuff that, especially so when you can feel a tidal wave massing inside you.

As usual, the ladies in the group are up there with an agenda, coming well prepared. Look at the number of extra foldable small bags they prepared tell you their intention. Shopping. The bane of most normal guys. 2 big shopping haven that we went was Mid Valley and One Utama. I suggest 1U to those are up there with an agenda, out to swipe soft your significant other's card. Walk till you drop. I almost. The last time I walked so much was when I'm in Paris. I'm gtting my ankle pain. Again.

At Mid Valley, I get an eyeful of a mass orgy. Koool, kills my bordom for a while. Took a short video of a cute hamster trying so hard to get up onto the dunno-wat-you-called-that-wheel-thingy. The process of it trying so hard to get up is so funny. Too bad I only start my filming late. And beside, I have yet to find a good place to do file dumping, so the video has to wait. If you got a good place, tell me, preferably freeeeee like flickr. I'm also a small small executive.

Came across this shop in 1U. And so I wonder, what do you find there? Or get from there? I know, probably the same concept as the once-operational Factory Outlet. But the name sure tickles me. So do I go in and reject the poor quality goods that even the factories reject? Or do I go in to get original rejected goods that looks like worst quality than those found in your neighbour pasar malam?

On the side note, I was a little surprise to find an increase in hits on my blog. Not that I'm hiding anything but rather, only a handful of people I know of are reading my blog. So do a little checking found out that someone has linked me. No wonder. But of coz, its not from the local celebrities blogger like mr family-man-and-one-who-cannot-stop-blogging brown or mr hamsen-and-attach-a-lot-of-same-sexuality-fella-and-knows-lotsa-celebrities miyagi. A lot of people have already been writing about it, how to write good farking blog but hey, are you writing for yourselves or your trying to a celebrity in your own rights? The mr lucky-bragger-who-get-to-interview-the-celebrities cowboy caleb has written an article on how to build yourself an audience at your blog. Even the seems-to-be-very-famous tony pierce wrote it too. The very-sexy-yet-not-interested-in-the-male-anatomy Adri talks about it in her interview.

So unless you yearn to build an audience or want to create a cult following, just be yourself and write what you want to write, not what your readers want to read. But of coz, this is your path, not mine. Decide and do it. So should even one day I tio brown-ed, spare me mr brown, unless you think I'm a good read, else I'm happy with my small private space.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

N is for Need-for-sex

Libido. The one thing that push you for your needs, your desire, your wanting of someone. Same sex. Opposite sex. Different Species. All doesn't matter. As long as your get to satisfy your horniness.

Ah lim is desperate horny chee hong has a strong desire for the female species. And many a times, his plan to impress the babes tends to backfire and got into situation instead. But of course, gotta give him his credit and he did get some nice and hot babes too.

Mr Miyagi is another hot hunk. According to the wild bush fire, he is scoring it high with ah lim's gay friends. And his occasion encounter with the celebrities is making him one hell of a next-big-thing-to-be-hooked-up-with-if-you-want-status-and-recognition-on-the-goddamn-blogworld. Even at wedding, he got hooked. Celebrities also wanna sit in his car. Wah kauz. He is DA man. He even got offer from Xiaxue, the very famous bitch slut girl-not-so-next-door, to let him feel her up.

Bubblemunche is another hamsen fella who is trying to hit it off with the ladies. He got his date with this childhood sweetheart and how happy it makes him that he blogs it into a miniseries. And it comes to a halt.

Then there is of course the biaTch from the female antomy who is claiming with zero libido while sober and a sex monster after drunk. Why not? She even awknowledge it, then of course if your want to trust her truth. Afterall, she got beancurd oozing out of her and she is telling the world. So if you want to hit on her, make sure she is not sober.

Me? Nop, I'm never was-is-are-will lucky with the babes. No hot dates. No cold turkey. And no moolah, which is more like saving moolah. But there is a nice review on different types of condom. So you dowan AIDS, dowan shotgun marriage, dowan unwanted headache, dowan heartattack, read it up. Choose the type you like best. I never know condom comes in so many favours. Just like I ask some friends, why the hell you got favour on condom? I dun expect a blowjob with condom on. I dun. If she scare I flood her mouth, then dun do it. But an edible condom is worth a try.

I got some juice flowing out of my grapevine that a local very farking prestigious varsity is planning to ROM ceremory. I was like wat the fark?!?! That very famous and prestigious varsity must be running out of moolah. Who in the farking right mind want to hold their ROM ceremony at the varsity. Imagine this. -facepalm- Next thing you know, they might want to give Singapore Casket a run for its moolah, NTUC also wanna fight. Then you get a whole branding of that varsity in every bits of your life. Siao. My grapevine request the information not to be leaked, so the varsity cannot be named. Once confirm, going to give your first hand update.

Another another news, your million-moolah-ministers sitting in the comfy roomy office of some ministry is rejecting a fundraising concert organised by a Singapore Christian support group to promote HIV awareness. The axe has been given by licensing authorities citing that the event would be against public interest.

What? First they say gay parties has foreign talents flying to seed our own local gay population with AIDS. And now, public awareness is farking against public interest? Can someone tell me that we did not pay for their farking million moolah paycheque? Next thing you know, discussion of sex in public area is causing all the unwanted abortion and you can be placed under house arrest for that.

Friday, March 18, 2005

M is for Mah-tah-jin-jiat-eng

While having dinner with some friends over the weekend gossipping discussing about anything under the sun. Hey, we can talk about a lot more topics beside just about char bor hor.

So this friend was tellling me then that there is a recent raid on a lot of comics shops. I was surprised. Since when was comics ever a topic of raid? Then I was informed that the shops that got raid were selling comics with sexual contents. Wah kau.

Our very local elite force of mah tah been very free lately? No more pirates at SLS for them to catch? No more pasah malam pirates to catch? No more pirates shop in neighbour? Nothing to do go raid comic shops? Wah kauz.

Come on, its sexual expression only wah. Most comics I have read does show a nipple or two, and if u know what you are buying, half the time those guys are having a hardon. City hunter is a good one. Hardon all the time. Nudity at it arty farty way. I know, its some parents coming about it but still, do we be like the taupoh-ed incident or radio dj tio pok incident? Here, you are talking about been liberal and be standing on the international ground and next moment you are showing the world that how conversative and boh chee you really are.

Ok maybe boh chee is the wrong word. Over-protective? Come on, having grown up, dun you ever realise that the more you try to hide, the more you try to dig, the more you try to cover, the more INTERESTED we are to unhide/undig/uncover it???? Look at Netherlands. You can openly take your drugs there and hey, according to my grapevine source, there is much more addicts in France than in Holland. Ok, its my grapevine who told me. So, if you wanna sue, please look for my grape-plucker.

Relax, open up your mind. TEACH is the keyword, not hide. Let them read it but also have to enforce the right mentality. But who is to judge what is the RIGHT mentality? Do you really think that what you believe is right? Just because more people believe in it means that it is right. So teaching is a tacky issue. I'm a parent, I can't tell you what to do. But do remind, internet is a powerful thing. This is a different generation already.

Kids are learning to swim at 2? What the fark? I can't even recall what the fark i'm doing when I was 2. Dancing ballroom competition at 8! Now I'm impressed. So maybe we are adopting the China way of training our future. Prepare them when they are young. So, does that means I'm going to be a grandaddy when my son is going to be 18??? Beats me.

Heard over the radio some the DJ requesting callers to dial in to see if they are sex addicts. Wow. That is an OPEN topic. And its is discussed in the morning office hour. So a woman calling in complaining the brother-in-law is. He needs it 7-9 times day! WHAT THE FARK? What is that guy? A fark bunny plugged with energizer?

Go on ... and on... and on... and on ... and on ....

Even the wife is whining about it at times. Wow. I pity the wife. But I wonder how come they dun ever got groin abrasion problem? I wonder. I think Singapore try to contact the person and get him to lecture, or even put him up as our role sex model. The 2004 sex survey conducted by Durex is showing that Singaporeans are only doing it 76 times a years, which brings it to 1.5 times a week!

Now, if that guy who needs it 7-9 times a day is taking part in it, we are farked. If he ain't, please ask them to re-do the survey or at least take part in 2005 survey to help boost our statistic. Fark man. With slight erotism on comics also kena raid, howt the fark you going to get the nation to be more horny and take part in National Procreation Exercise? I wonder if anyone has called in to complain on that.

1.5 times a week look really little, according to a friend. She whine out loud sometimes back when we are having our regular after-dance-supper-cum-gossip-session that if her significant others ain't doing it enough, she is in deep shit. Ok, but hey, u can't be doing it everyday. WE. NEED. TO. WORK. And groin abrasion is no joke. Ok, I can't say who she is else she is seriously going to bite me. Ouch.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

L is for Lim-bei-jin-jiat-lat

Got an sms from a friend asking me if wanna go down to our usual club to dance tonite. His classmates are going down. Kool. I thought I saw a cutie among his current class of dance classmates when I last saw that group of people. Kool.

Since I got nothing planned (drama/anime/reading/surfing-the-net non counted), might as well go down to hang around and have a drink. So called another friend along. Its alwayz more fun to have one more pal around to gossip!

I'm early, and when I get there, some private function is ending. Some Singapore Teacher Union function. Delegate night or something. Wow, I never know teacher nowadays so happening sia! Go club for their whatever nites. Must be exciting to be teacher now. Anyway, since I'm early, I thought I might as well uturn to go draw some cash and since I'm just next to the NTUC, might as well go in to do some shopping. Boy do I feel old, thinking that shopping @ NTUC can be just as fun as shopping at downtown!

I tell you, if my ex-regular cheong-ing kakis is going to see me going to meet them at the club with ntuc bag, they might scream at me or ban me from going anywhere near them. Wah kau! You seen anyone going to the club with ntuc bag, containing fruits anot? I must be so happening, out of this world to do that now. I must be.

I am so jiatlat now. Sighz.

Boy I think its about time I change my specs. I really think so. I can't picture the same cutie to the one I saw last nite. Ok, I know, the club is not well lit and of coz, alcohol did wonders to enhance a person beauty. Must be. Must be.

So I must tell myself that I'm there for the cutie buddying.

I am so jiatlat. Sighz.

On the side note, the vatican has finally responsed to the fever caused by Dan Brown's Da Vinci's Code. And more people are now dissecting the book. There are several books discussing about the fact in it, like this and this. Even DVD also got leh! Power man! Several of the places mention in the book has a surge in visitors. Damn! One of the church had even been reported to be closed for the first time in history due to the sudden surge of people visiting it. Damn. Why didn't I read this book before going on my europe trip. Damn.

I guess the heated argument would not have taken place if not for Mr Brown's Claim.

All of the art, architecture, secret rituals, secret societies, all of that is historical fact.

Ok, this Mr Brown has nothing to do with our very own true blue singaporean, celebrity blogger mr brown.

When I first read the book, less than 50% into the book, it already got me thinking if the vatican is going to response to this book. If this book claim is truly the truth, 2000 years of church history and faith is going to crumble. Who knows, your WWIII is on your way, sparked by a mere truth.

Another side note, came across this fact killer.

"This she-wolf is a reward to my kinsman," is the first known sentence written in English.

She-wolf is another word of bitch as well. How nice is the irony on this statement. So the first thing to learning english to offer the bitch to the kinsmen. I am so jiatlat.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

K is for Klutzy-game-of-love

This is not done up by me but rather got this through my inbox. Interesting yet kinda klutzy but still, a good round of it might be fun whiling beer-ing with the pals.


-------------

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted The colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)


Now what chance do you have???

MRT Advertisement in Japan

MRT Advertisement in Japan
MRT Advertisement in Japan,
originally uploaded by bishamon.
Wow! This is really cool with the element of kinkiness. I wonder how much
it cost to built it!?

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

J is for Jerk around

It seems like such scams are becoming widespread and they are always coming out with different marketing strategy or name to sell their products. As I alwayz tell my marketing people, it is the art of conning convinencing people to believe in what you are selling.

Seems like Mr Miyagi's Auntie Lilly just booked herself an appointment with the marketing people from hell. And of course ah lim also got scammed too. Almost but kermit is just too smart for those people.


Well, I just got this in my mailbox, and so sharing with you people reading this. But I leave it to your sanity to determine the accuracy and truth behind it. Just like haox, I have long given up replying to friends who are sending me haox and just adding on to the spam like the email-curse-chain.


Extracted from: ecwt_bmv@pacific.net.sg,
http://www.voy.com/161450/695.html

Dear: Friends

Before I start my message about this cheats, I must truely apologise to customers who have and may not have bought Holiday Membership through this company. To those who have, please accept my apologises. To those who did not, thank god you are not a victim. I hope you will never be.

Let me introduce myself at this moment, I am Edmund Choy and I used to work for *LGM Singapore Branch, located at Takashimaya Shopping Centre, Tower B, #16-01 as a Sales Consultant, my manager is Mr Bill Hedmen an American guy from Florida USA, but he prefers to us to tell our clients that he is one of the Founder of this company.

The reason I am e-mailing this is to tell all Singaporeans, tourist or others who maybe getting phone calls or if you would to be walking down Orchard Road, that that phone call or scrach card telling you that you have received a 8 days / 7 nights stay in 6 location world wide and also a S$50 seafood voucher is a scam. You have to sit down for a 75 mins minimum presentation in front of a Sales Consultant and his/her manager before you qualify for that "gift" you have been promised. This 75 mins presentation can last for hours, it's hard sales pitch and bad and sickening attitude from the manager before they would let you off. Just to let you know that the holiday gift does not exist unless you become a member of the club called CVC. This means Concepts Vacation Club. The minimum amount of money you MUST pay is S$288 to qualify for a 1 year trial membership. When you are signed out, the receptionist will tell you to fax the reply copy of your gift 1 month before you travel. In fact there is no free lunch in this world, you won't get it, if you have bought a trial membership you can even get your gift a week before you travel. This is a cheat isn't it?

If you can tolarate that kind of hard sales pitch from the manager, he can insult or scold the Sales Consultant infront of you. You like seeing this? The pitch will make you decide TODAY ONLY to join it's membership for a fee. The most amazing thing about this membership is that there is no fixed price. Manager A may come to your table and put down a S$40,000 joining fee but he will say to you, if you join us today the price is S$27,000, Manager B can come to another table and say that the joining fee is just S$27,000 with perks thrown in. They would ask you blatantly if you can afford it, most people can't of course. Then there is a 50 years program, a 25 years program, a 10 years program and even a 5 years program. Believe me different manangers price these programmes differently. Like I said that, there is no fixed price and also the extra perks thrown in, it's different. Then there is a Cash Reward Program that promises you to pay you back your membership fee in 5/7/10 years time after your last instalment is paid up. This again is rubbish, who in this world would give you money back to join them and get your money back? Thereafter your membership is free of charge for a lifetime. Then remember the 50 years, 25 years program to qualify for Cash Back. No Cash Back if you join for the 10 years or 5 years program, then this again depending on who the hell the manager is, he may even do Cash Back for you. There is no fixed rules in this company.

Please, my sincere advice is do not even get close to this office at Takashimaya. They will freeze you until you can't think straight, some people even sign on the doted line in a state of confusion. And that is a done deal already. No attoney can help you recover the money after this even you know you are cheated later on.

I am feeling guilty for working in this company for more than a month. The reason being I am being trained to cheat. I have stopped working there now, waiting for a better job opportunity. I went to a Police Station to report this case but this is being referred to CASE which stands for Consumer Association of Singapore. I alone can't be Jesus Christ, walk on water, feed the flock and save people from suffering. I need help too. I want all these companies to close down and go into trouble but I need support, to those who have been cheated please produce your documents to be examinated by the investigators from CASE, if you still do not feel convinced go to a Police Station and see what the Police can do for you. All they need is evidence from the victims and not an ex-employee. Only then CASE or the Police can take action. There is nothing to fear, the antidote to fear is action! Let's get rid of them.

For your Information:

*LGM - Leisure Group Marketing

*HMI - Holiday Marketing International

*Please take note that this is a timeshare company who tells you
they are not. In fact they really are.

Persons whom you may want to look for:

Chairman - Mr Dwayne Hills

Managing Director (Singapore) - Mr Gary Simon

Regional Director/Founder (Singapore) Mr Bill Hedmen

Managers: Mr Mohan

Mr David Tepley

Mr Hari

Miss Katini

Miss Ivita

Mr Ramlan


I wish you the very best for 2005 and please publish this letter as
soon as possible. Thank-you

Edmund Choy

Thursday, March 10, 2005

I is for Idol

Idol, the very person/thing that you admire or worship.

When you are single and you are surrounded by couples, they will always tell you to find someone. And when you goes intro a chio chio mei mei* to me lorrrr, they will go what are my criteria. Standard question and answer.

Hey, I'm a simple man. I do not have alot to give, so neither am I asking for a lot either. Its is common and only human nature to have some requirements. If one can very shui bian but NOT that shui bian.

So for my simple request, my no.1 criteria is that she lives within 2 busstop from where I stay. See, I douch you, I'm a simple man with a simple request. Its not too much, rite? And hey, I alwayz got that you-can't-be-serious look or you-are-so-wasting-my-saliva stare every time I mention that. Hey, nutting wrong wor, rite? Its simple, isn't it?

Ok, I'm a lazy bum who simply dislike to travel, especially when I gotta do a Journey to the West route back home after sending my last SO back. Ok, no more that route for me now but still, I don't quite like to travel back alone to my place for like an hour. Yeah, I can do my ebook reading. I can play my gameboy. I can listen to my radio. But I still dun like.

Then she came along. First discover her in the remake of Louis Cha's 天龙八部 (Demi Gods and Semi Devils). Its a very good production. China's mega production. They get the same guy who done the martial art choreography in Matrix for this one. For once you skip on all-too-familiar Taiwan and Hong Kong celebrities and entice you with China's very vast pool of artists. I tell you, if you watch a normal production, you are one or two chio chio actresses, you think its good. But this is too many chio chio babes in the drama. And yeah, Christy Chung is the ugliest slut in the drama. Anyway, I never like her.

That is also where I first saw her a year ago. I remember staying at home last lunar new year just to finish up the drama. To see more of her catch up on the story. Oh mine, I'm so smitten captivated errrrrrr....nevermind. Damn. She is just so cute. Damn. I just can't get enough of her. Damn. And it is not especially helpful when now I am now watching one of her newer production, that also starred local celebrities like Guo Liang, Bryan Wong, and Lynn Poh.

Now I just have to wait for another re-make of Louis Cha's production again. I hate re-makes. Most of the time, they are very badly done, especially that of Louis Cha. I have seen too many remake of Return of the Condor Heros and Heavenly Sword and Dragon Sabre. Now I just hope the new re-make will continue with the same, if not better, effort like the one they did for 天龙八部. And of cause starring her is a good enough reason. Good enough.

So was chatting with a friend over the ICQ about my criteria. So now, I should change my no.1 criteria. Its stupid. Its absurb. Its idiotic. And I get numerous smack to my head already. So I shall be more practical now. Cannot be so lazy. I'm so going to change it to... she gotta look, if not close, like her. Sighz. I'm so going to PRC to search. I'm so going to.

Sighz.

Singapore Pool, help me! Sponsor me!


* - really cute or pretty cutie or hotie or a babe or watever definition you like to fill in

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

H is for Helluva-dinner

Looking at what is going on in some of the bloggers' life can really bring back memories. Machiam like a walk down the memory lane.

Ah lim's from dusk to dawn reminds me of a simple dinner I had arrange with a secondary scnool friend whom I met inside IRC when I was still irc-ing then, back in the mid 90s. The time where it was so kool that you got a private non-school email address. Its even kooler if you got internet at home. And way koolest when you IRC and ICQ. Steady boh!

But of coz, you will get a big HAR? just as often when you tell them you are chatting with this girl from IRC/ICQ. Hey, ICQ was the big thing then. It kick arse till the other arses like m$/yaaahoooo/A-nO-L decided to join in the bandwagon and kick its arse instead. Just like how IE got about kicking Netscape slow arse.

Back to that simple dinner. After leaving school for a couple of years, and losing touch with quite a few school mates, its a little surprised to find a school mate online, and some more referred by another friend who went over to down under to study. So I always believe that 选日不如撞日(that is rather than choosing the date, might as well make it now), so arrange to have dinner with the school mate B the very night. So when I met up with B, she asked 2 friends along whom I also happened to know in IRC as well. What a small world.

With only a simple dinner in mind, it lead to waiting for her to get off work at one of the ice-cream selling stall in a centre in the east then. So while waiting, me and the other 2 friends went to play pool. After that, someone suggest going to KTV. So we went there and sing. And the night look young then, so was I, we carried on the activities to a pub at a collective group of pubs where one of the friends has a bottle there and the pub owner is also someone from the IRC. Even damn small world.

B was complaining about being hungry, and so we headed often to another nearby collective of pubs by a stream of not-so-clean-water. How nice of one of them to open a bottle of wine and share it with the rest of us. Hey, I'm a poor chap then,working part time and watching for NS hor and still is now. So slowly enjoying our supper and wine, talking the nite away till 3am in the night morning.

So thought we are done, B was suggesting that since its already morning, why not go for breakfast!!! WAT THE FARK? She not working tomorrow ah? What to do? The rest of the guys on liao, so I just follow suit. So someone mention that OB hotel congee was great. So off we went to the place for our breakfast. FARK! I also never wake up so early to eat breakfast man! My mama will probably call me siao if she knows I had breakfast at that hour.

After breakfast, we really decided to end our meeting. Finally. And by the time I got home, its only one more hour to waking up for work!

FARK!

I was stoned throughout the day at work.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

G is for Goddamnit

Blogging at this ungodly hour do not seems to be a great idea. Brain is become lethargic bit by bit, affected by my usual doze of liqour.

Damn, I hate to go salsa on friday nite. Its pack like sardines. Everyone dancing on the available spaces look almost like sardines packed in the can. No shit. And it is not helping when everyone is not the practicing the dance etiquette that all should practice, for the sake of every other person and most importantly yourself.

Yeah, I agree that do not be afraid. Dare to dance. Dare to approach the girl. Dare to do your moves. Dare to be creative and think. Dare to try. But I'm not asking you to break the person. Not execute your moves by banging into other people. Not cross-body-lead your girl into the person in front or behind you. Take leads. Look around.

I'm not to say I'm a master level but its good dancing etiquette everywhere you go. I remember clearly when one idiot kept kicking/knocking/hitting into me and my partner. That is shit. That is pissing. It got me staring at that idiot. My partner was angry pissed. She wanted to kick them back but I have to stop her and tell her do not do that, else you are just like a bad dancers like them.

Tonight Last night I'm down at the place. As usual, packed like sardines. But I'm there in an extremely pissed mood. Pissed becoz some farker ask me to go down and meet at O bar. So quickly get my mopping done, bathe and rush down, to avoid paying for the stupid midnight charges on the cab. And when I got there, I got the SMS coming in telling me that the person IS leaving. WAT THE FARK? Very fun ah? Ask me go down and then fly me pigeon/aeroplane/kite/airbus/boeing.

Wah kauz!

Dowan to be like a kuku to go home within 5 mins on reaching Mohd Sultan. So hail a cab and make my way down to salsa. It isn't that great to even see the place so packed. It just dun sooth my pissing mood. Damn. Liquor, the best medicine to douse any flame. It simply works most of the time.

The crowd are mostly gone by 1am, as expected. Finally I can start dancing again. And tonite seems like a good nite in the end. I get to dance with a few "rumoured" good dancers. Good but I just can't seems to control them, just can't seems to connect with them. Sad. So must dance more with them. Dance more. Must. Must.

Friday, March 04, 2005

F is for Forwarded

Ok, got this list from someone. So should be fun doing it. So brain-dead with a full lunch, after 2 days of lunch starving. *yawn*

Come come, spread the word.

A list of “I’ve Never..”
The bold items are TRUE.
Copy, Paste & Spread…

I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
I’ve Never Crashed A Friend’s Car
I’ve Never Been To Japan
I’ve Never Been In A Taxi
I’ve Never Been In Love
I’ve Never Had Sex In Public
I’ve Never Been Dumped
I’ve Never Done Cocaine
I’ve Never Shoplifted
I’ve Never Been Fired
I’ve Never Been In A Fist Fight
I’ve Never Had Group Intercourse
I’ve Never Snuck Out Of My Parents’ House
I’ve Never Been Tied Up
I’ve Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone
I’ve Never Been Arrested
I’ve Never Made Out With A Stranger
I’ve Never Stolen Something From My Job
I’ve Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square
I’ve Never Gone On A Blind Date
I’ve Never Lied To A Friend
I’ve Never Had A Crush On A Teacher
I’ve Never Celebrated Mardi Gras In New Orleans
I’ve Never Been To Europe
I’ve Never Skipped School
I’ve Never Slept With A Co-Worker
I’ve Never Cut Myself On Purpose
I’ve Never Had Sex At The Office
I’ve Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week - and same Day
I’ve Never Posed Nude
I’ve Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
I’ve Never Killed Anyone
I’ve Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner
I’ve Never Thrown Up In A Bar
I’ve Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire -
I’ve Never Eaten Sushi
I’ve Never Been Snowboarding
I’ve Never Had Sex At A Friend’s House While They Were Throwing A Party
I’ve Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room -
I’ve Never Flashed Anyone
I’ve Never Met Anyone From Online

Boring life, ain't it?
Ok, going to think of more ways to spice up my life.

E is for Epanalepsis

Big word leh! Maybe not so for you but big enough for me!

Why do I choose such a word? Afterall, I'm a man of little ink water. So much ink for wat? Can eat meh? Wah kauz.

During that little trip to the little island south of the land of smiles, I had my hair braided on the last day. In fact its actually a friend who is interested. So it happened that the place where we had our massages does that. So we had our oil body massage first, with everyone in the group in, followed by the foot massage which bruther shui mak mak gentle refuse. He is scare that he might laugh non-stop. He's allegic to tickling. Allegic my arse. I think its that he kia bor (scared of wife for the unsinglish mind) as the great old ancient ah mah myth would say.

So came the bargaining of our my friend's price for braiding her hair. Well, she got her price. So I ask "do one how ah, i dowan whole head, i haven't tender?". The girls look at me and think for a while, then tell me "free, if u do one, free". Now I called that good service. Afterall, we did give them quite a fair bit of massage moolah wahhhhh. So there I goes, getting one two done, one on each side of my head. Oh, in the end, my friend never did hers. She just do two on each side, then not too happy about it and take out one. The last time I see her, she's left with 2. And free leh.

So when I got back to the office, I got stares on my head hair. Everyone think I put a hair pin or hair band on my head! WAH KAUZ. My hair abit the long but not that long horrr. Dun need hair pin nor hair clip. I just tell them "antenna, my new antenna". Then I gotta hold it up and show them. Some even got so curious and request to touch it. Wah kauz! They think wat? Big belly buddha ah? Thought liao win toto/4D ah? If so, must collect commission man!

Two weeks liao since I got that braided bunch chunk bundle streak dunno-wat hair, I still continue to get the stares from people at the usual hunt and office. -shrug- Spare me, I gave up on explaining already. Next time I should carry a signboard.

The same thing happen when I appeared in shirt and tie for my usual salsa nite. Aiyoh, I think I need to carry signboard and let them read it for themselves rather than I explain to everyone whom I say hi to.

Another is so excited last night, going around telling the whole world almost everyone inside the club that she pierced her belly. Wah lau! She siao ah? Must be lah! So excited for wat? Some more still ask me go and see her get it pierce? See, siao anot? She think I got gross out by it, so I continue to let her think lor. So she kept bugging me to see it, I refuse to see it. And when I finally do, I ask the bartender for some tabasco sauce. It might definite spice things up for her, dunch you agree? Or salt? Or lemon? Anyway I told her "piece belly I see for wat? you go pierce ya nipple, I sure be there one.... sure" and she gave me that look. Wat lahhhhh.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

D is for Detriment

Cleavage are for all to see, don't you think so? If you dowan people to see, dun show.

So I wonder, how detrimental can it get when u go goggling on some nice cleavage. I'm talking about nice, not any. I just thought maybe I should go a little check on the meaning of cleavage and this is what I find. Wow. I never know. Oh well, my england not the so powderful, so you gotta pardon me on my angmoh.


cleavage
n.
  1. The act of splitting or cleaving.
  2. The state of being split or cleft; a fissure or division.
  3. Mineralogy. The splitting or tendency to split of a crystallized substance along definite crystalline planes, yielding smooth surfaces.
  4. Embryology.
    1. The series of mitotic cell divisions that produces a blastula from a fertilized ovum. It is the basis of the multicellularity of complex organisms. Also called segmentation.
    2. Any single cell division in such a series.
  5. Chemistry. The splitting of a complex molecule, such as a polysaccharide, into simpler molecules.
  6. Informal. The hollow between a woman's breasts, especially as revealed by a low neckline.

But it seems that recently, one blogger got her cleavage been photograph without permission blatantly. Voyeur is not a right word. If that person done it secretly or discreetly, I would say voyeurism. It upsets her so much that she is saying her goodbye to the blogging world. But probably a few good men fellas talk her out of it and she change it to taking a break.

I always thought such things are common around the world, no matter where you are, who you are, what you are. I guess the keyword is discreet. Doing it on the discreet will probably not get you so much publicity and having someone report you to the authority.

Another blogger had his little fun over lunch on cleavage as well. If I am to do that, my mom will probably smack me on the head and tell me, "no playing with food, if not i go home cane you". It works well during my time.

So after gym, a friend sms me if wanna go down to the usual hunt for a drink. So called him back to confirm the timing. After that I was having a little regret. Damn. I'm suppose to start my dietary today. I'm not a big fan of diet and I don't exactly believe in it. But my clothes are becoming a little body-hugging, so ain't too happy about it. If I have a bod to die for, then its a different story. A gigantic elepant and a enormous one dun look much of a difference anyway.

Liquor is not helping it. The quick way to dump sugar into your body. Please, no hot milk nor teh-o at the usual drinking/dancing hunt. Had a good breakfast, and just 2 fiji apples for lunch. Good. But damn hungry one hour after consuming the big nice juicy apples. Endure endure endure. No snacks.

Since I'm doing a little drinking tonight, so its safer to have a decent meal. Me no like stomach upset nor the merlion after drinking, not that I drink a lot but just in case. You never know if you going to get hoot there. So I went for some nice healthy food like yong tau hu. But too bad for me, when I'm there, I was immediately serve the snacks. Damn, its hard to resist and there I go eating the one two three bowls of kachang puteh. Ok, I din eat it alone, I shared it with another friend. And also that I cannot resist not ordering finger food, a plate of fried tohu is in front of me right after I found out another friend has no intention till the live band is done with all their sets. Think he wanna hoot the cleavage-revealing-so-much-yet-cannot-see-much singer.

Since the usual hunt changed to the new band, I have yet to really sit down in the wine bar area to listen to them. Most of the time I'm dancing away to salsa music outside the bar. And today thought I will have a change and sit around the bar and listen to them. Not too bad. The singer is in this black top which has a really really low cut in the front with a short tight demin skirt. I think it cuts all the way down to nipple level. Hey, I'm not goggling at that but showing my illustration here. I'm the first to arrive. Within an hour, all the rest turn up.

So all of us just drink and talk cock through the night. And also enjoying her cleavage listen to her sing throughout her sets. So the bar manager introduce her to us. Now, that is a good thing about been in a regular hunt. The manager knows you. The staffs know you. Make lotsa things easy. Sometimes she will just sit down on the piano seat and cross her legs while singing. One friend goes "Wah lau. Very sexy leh. Like those japanese AV girls....". Wah kauz. So I ask him to bring one of the waitress home, if they are wiling. IF. Lucky thing is we know the staffs, else those waitress might probably take us as some chee ko peh or hum sup loh or lau ter khor. Heng. Heng.

Finally after all the sets are done, we leave for the night. And I hope I can continue start my dietary plan tomorrow today again.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

C is for Condom

I was teasing a colleague of mine about buying condom on the sunny little island instead of buying it locally before going over. I was only joking. I'm there for relaxation, not some sex tour for the chee ko peh. I very innocent horrrr.

A couple of days later, I came across this article by an angmoh blogger in the cheena country.

Except:

NOTE: Should you need to know, condoms (including Durex) are widely available. Jia Yong Supermarket stock them on the second floor near the top of the escalators. Also note that China's State Family Planning Commission revealed last year that Chinese men buy approximately three condoms per year and 30 to 40 percent of these condoms are defective.

Does that account for that cheena country to be the most populated place in the world? Maybe. Maybe. And it set me thinking, would the little sunny island will have the same type of defective condoms?

So here I am having dinner, a bowl of duck-favoured instant noodles with mushroom. 3 packets of thai duck-favoured instant noodles and a small can of mushroom. At the same time watching Closer, the very movie that send bubblemunche popping his coke-filled vacuum flask in the movie theatre. Lucky me, I'm watching it at home and I don't need no coked-filled vacuum flask.

I know what you are thinking. No I don't. I do not support the pirates. Its DVD quality hor! Not some screener from the cinema. I'm an open-source supportor. You leave the connection open, I source it out. That is my open-source.

When Natalie Portman first appeared, I couldn't recognise her. The last time I saw her was in Léon. But of course its a much older movie than Star Wars Episode 2, where she acted as the Queen of the Nabei Naboo. Maybe I only recognise her as the thick makeup Nabei Naboo.

Now I know why bubblemunche get so hot and popped his flask and gotten himself coke-d. Only 30 minutes into the movie, 2 guys are talking dirty online, engaging in some online sex conversation, and one pretending to be a woman. Now that reminds me of another article. Almost similar situation. Damn funny. And I think this is the first time I spend 10 minutes on the screen seeing 2 grown men having an online sex talk. Cybersex is the right word.

I shan't divulge too much details of the movie. Go catch it yourself. Very interesting movie and truly lotsa dirty talkings. Natalie. Julia. I won't popped the coke or kena coke-d but I might need a cold shower later. Really cold shower.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

B is for Bullshit

Why bullshit? Thinking what our world biggest and richest technologist-cum-bullshitter has in mind is not that pleasing.

Let me put up an example. Imagine this, you are not feeling that great, you might be or might not be sick. So you have a regular family doctor that you alwayz go to for your checkup, and he provides the services for you for free. Then one day, he tells you that this medicine is good and hopes that you will take it to let you be stronger. But he gives you an option to decide if you want to swallow the pill. Then in another month and half time, he will take away the option and makes you swallow the pill, irregardless if you like it or not.

Now, why do I feel there's is a conspiracy in the story? The worldest best selling Operating System is also the whole mosted hated Operating System as well as the Most-full-of-bugs Operating System. So now, the medicine was ready back in August 2004 had to be taken, whether you like it or not, by this coming April 2005. Why are they so insistences on it? Since their NT days, they have never force you to swallow the pills, but now they do.

Oh yeah, security is on their mind since they have been strongly criticized for their lack of it. But secuirty is not something you can roll out as simple as ABC. It is always the user training that you need to take care of. Setting the rules of host-based firewall is already a tough one. No matter how easy you made it, if users set the rules of "allow all", it is as good as placing your guards on the front door but stop and report no one. Then what is the point?


Just like the new upcoming rising firefox that is causing a lot of waves in the internet browser catogory. It has been a long while since the downfall of Netscape that we see anything that is putting a dent on Micro$soft Internet Explorer market share. Since firefox going official on 1.0 and its latest update on many of its issues addressed in 1.01, it has rised to 7% from its 2% since its beta days. Meanwhile IE has slipped, losing the 9 and falling onto the 8, that is 89%. Probably with its next major release, it might goes into a double digit market share. That I hope to see.

But let me remind all, hackers like to attack the most popular, and I don't see the possibility of firefox having the biggest share of all browsers but I would want to see a big big dent on the IE market shares. Firefox is still not very well-liked but it is becoming better since its beta days. I'm 100% supportive of it, since it gives me much less problems that IE.

So as long as continue to use Micro$oft products, we are going to eat this shit accept the helpful services provided by them. I am of course still using Windows though I'm looking at the possibilities of moving over to Linux, once I got to sorting out the things I need on the penguin.