Child no teach, dad at fault

养不教，父之过；教不严，师之惰。

Ok, I'm trying to do a very literal word for word translation. But its definitely, as most who can understand chinese, or rather even with that poor translation, should be able to know what I'm driving at. Technically, its a philosophy from the book (三字经), which was written in the 13th century. I'm not telling you how to be a good parents, nor arguing on whose fault is it going to be. And this is not any thesis. I'm just writing my thoughts, my views, my belief.

Probably I grow up under the caning philosophy and I do believe in them. But of course, there is a limit to it. Cause once you push it over the limit, the child is a goner. When he or she does not fear caning anymore, probably its starting to turn for the worst. I have seen it. I know how it is like when things turn that way. It seriously make the parents vomit blood.

Probably from some of my articles on my blog, one can tell how much I'm unprepared to be a father and how much I dun like kids. Why do I hate dislike them? When they turn out to be some form of brat, its really hard to say what I will do to them, based on my temper. Who knows, I might just throw them out of the windows. More often than not, I will get into some form of argument with friends over brats kids. Your kid is an exact replicate of yourself. How your child behaves exactly shows what kind of parents or even person you are. You might think all the world about your kid. You might think he's the darling in your world. But that is to you alone only. And if the other ninety-nine thousands nine hundred and ninety-nine think otherwise, its 101% otherwise. No argument. No trial. Need no say any further.

As with the above statement, one can find a good explaination here (english translation) since bishamon is just a little too lazy to type it out. Hey, I dun work as a translator. Beside, language ain't my major. So simply, it says that if a child is not well brought up, its all the fault of the father. And if the child is not well taught, its all the fault of the teacher. Happen to be doing some surfing, looking for some information, and accidentally bump into this article (english translation). And since I'm blogging it here, I might as well put in it. Afterall, no harm adding in one more reference. I know, parenting is an extremely tough job. It is never easy. It takes more than just responsibility. Having a child is not just about keeping feeding the child, keep him/her alive. It goes beyond it, way beyond it. You may teach your child what is morality, but to have the child believe it and practice it is totally another method.

为人子，方少时；亲师友，习礼仪。

Then of course there is another phrase. Once again, you can find the explaination here (english translation). So bringing up one's child is tough. Teaching the child well of the world is even tougher. What is right? What is wrong? What to practice? But of course, there is a fine line to determine between letting your child lead his/her life or lead the life you want he/she to lead. The child may be be a replicate of you, but the child is not you. You have your life. Your child have his/her own life. Moulding your child into who you think your child should be is not exactly the best of way in bringing up your child.

But of course, parents are likely to be the first very example they will be looking up to. But if the parents are exactly the wrong way of example, then how do you expect the child to grow up into a fine person. Your child may have good brains. Your child may have good grades. Your child may have good career. Your child may be earning good bucks. But tell me, if your child believes that old folks ought to be send to old folks home and not block the fortune of others. If your child believes in sacraficing other people to save self's face/life. Is that the way that it should be?

I have seen living example of people behaving like king of the world just because they are the paying customers. And that is right in front of the child. Raising his voice at the serving waitress demanding the dessert for his son where he can just kindly request for it. I have seen a mother showering a couple of colorful swear words at the maid while the daughter is just beside her. And even if the child has misbehave, the parents choose the action and pushing the blame to others. What is this? How do one make a living good example when you are just an exactly bad bad bad example?

I remember the time when if I have done anything wrong, I will seriously get it big time from my mother. I fear her. I fear her cane more. I think it works pretty well for me. She knows when to say cane, when not to cane. When she tells me no, it means no. No other meaning. But now I look at who kids are growing up, even parents gotta beg a 8 years old child. Can you believe it? And to think a mother want to cane the child, and the child can actually tell the mother that if she dares, she will report her mother to the police, and to think that is coming from a child that is still schooling in lower primary school. Mine mine, what has the world become to? You can't even discipline your own child. To think back in my own time, when I got beaten by my teacher for being naughty, I will try my best to avoid letting my mother knows, else I will probably receive more beating at home. And now? The child can actually go home to complain to the parents, and the parents will farking march into the school and demand a good explaination, and threaten the school with all sort of legal threats. It truly is 养不教，父之过。

Fark the world. Fark the society. Fark the teaching. Fark those parents.

Ops. Who knows, should one day I become parent myself, I migth get scrutized by others. I just gotta remind myself never to become those farkup parents.

积点口德吧。