The big fella up there

Religon is a very sensitive topic that can be very very touchy if one is not very careful with some saying. Heresay might even be branded on you when the wrong things are been said. So, WARNING BEEN GIVEN. If you think you a hardcore whatever religon, please seriously stop reading. I dowan to be receiving email farking me about what I'm thinking. Hey, if you do that or going to do that, then take my words now. FARK OFF.

Probably some long time friends knew that I used to attend church. Used to is a past tense. I pretty much like to keep it in the past tense. Past means I no longer attend it. And its kind of nagging (I think that might be the word I'm looking for) to have someone bugging hogging some time off your precious limited free time to share the wonderful faith with you. And its even a bigger mistake to let the someone knows that you used to go to church. But of course, I remember back in my own days where I myself will also feverishly try to spread the word of the big fella up there. I even link everything that ever is going to happen to me back to him, thanking him for everything single thing.

Nay. Those were the days. I chose to let its remain as were.

I cannot believe that I'm on the phone with that someone for almost 2 hours, telling that someone that I am choosing not going to and back to church. I even go sacrilegious to divert and express where my faith is lying. That someone spent a good 15 minutes telling me about this cellgroup that she will be attending tomorrow and so wholeheartedly invite me to go along. And guess what? I told her I have a very important appointment tomorrow. I need to go jogging and mop my floor. Now, knowing my fetish with mopping the floor will definitely explain very well why it is so important to me.

She kept trying very hard to invite me back to her church, and I told her (I have to be gentle, you know) that I prefer to burn in hell for now. She even told me about how a devoted buddhist colleague had just receive accept Christ into her life and she was so jovious for that colleague. I am too, I think. So I ask her what prompt that colleague to accept Christ and that story last a good fair bit. But I think the best part was when I told her that I still choose to burn in hell after finish hearing her story on that colleague. I can definitely hear her grasp at my option. Isn't that sweet of her? Evil, am I not?

Oh, I found out from her that her boss thinks I'm against Christian. Now, that is an novel thought. I never thought so myself. In fact, I have Christian friends, and I hope nothing against them. We do sit down and have our meal, and I continue to eat my porkchop. Wait, that is another religon. Ok, on the wrong track.... But I think I know why her boss thinks that way. I'm at fault, that I have to admit. I'm always tell her about some books that will most probably be containing certain heresy topics which might provoke her very staunch convenational thoughts. Its definitely heresy to talk about Piers Anthony's Tarot if she finds Harry Potter a total witchcraft which she ban her son from reading.

Back a long time ago, I have this thoughts. That there's actually a lot of big fella up there. But each of them has their own worshippers and followers, setting their own set of rules for their worshippers and followers. But each indivdual divinity's followers choose to ignore the existence of anything else. But of course, I can never do any proving at all on this. Whoever can ever come out with a theological thesis that prove this thinking, I'm pretty sure that person will be hunt down as a heresy, and causes several religons to come crumbling down. But that is an interesting thought, dunch ya think so? And so coincidental that this thinking exactly down reconcile with a book that I'm reading. Actually I think many books uses this idea. See, its such good thing, but can anyone prove it?

Come to think of it, I have once even question the identity of Christ. I was attending this church camp back then, and then at the end of it, everyone was suppose to share their experiences and faith. I shared mine. I questioned them on the validity of Christ. He appears more than 2000 years ago. Is he who he really is? Is the bible really that accurate? Christ could just be a simple person, or maybe more than simple but done some great deed, and then got promoted up to some deity level by some story teller. Who was to prove my thinking otherwise? You see, they will like to tell you to take things by faith. And so I'm to say that I'm on my faith of that thinking, and I believe its right. You can say I'm wrong, and I can also say that you are wrong, worshipping the wrong deity.

Try telling the buddhist that Buddha (I can never remember his highness indian name) was just a normal human (which he was) and that he does not wants to be worshipped. In fact I have one Christian ever saying that to me. But then, I have think too far back then and I was a fresh new devote to the house of Christ, so I took his words at face value. Now you trying saying that to me, and we can go deep into some theological dicussion, and I think its best done over some whiskey. Thristy, my friend, thristy is not what I like. Now if I reverse this phrase, Christ was human (born as) and who was to say that he wants or wants not to be worshipped? You know, 2 really big religon has their deity started of as human, so how ?

I can now be a multi-god or no-god person. I'm just sitting on the fence. Religon is something that I dowan it to be a part of my life. For now.

PS : never say never.

PPS : you wanna feel the end of days coming, trying watch Days of Noah. Then go read up on all the calamities that been happening around the globe. That will bring you close to feel good about Kingdom Come.