R is for Reservist

After a chatty dinner with a friend, too lazy to move anywhere, so made my way home. It is just amazing how one would be pushing some blames onto the unanimated objects. I was eavesdropping but well, the conversation was a little too loud for me to turn off my audio input human device.

some he: nice photos.
(at this point i lift up my head and look at them, and get on back to my reading)
some her: you know, i really dun like this camera. no nice. the photos it took of me are not that nice.
(think to myself: hey, its not the camera fault. it could be the photographer, or might be the wrong settings, or the poor ambience/lighting/environment)
some he: not really. its very nice.
some her: ney, i think it must be a bad brand for camera. took such ugly photos of me.
(look up at her and think to myself: any brand also took ugly photos of you, unless u got a superb photoshop skill and make up artist)

Hey, I must be getting bored on the journey back, and to think I'm going back incamp training the next day, it aint no fun. Then again, on the bright side, you get to see your army friends once a year. Good to do a little catching up, sweating it out, and swearing together. Its been a while afterall.

Some little things that I hate about the reservist. The goddamn blardie waste of time. What that is bound to cock up bound to cock up(pardon me but I'm on number 4 mode).

What I like about it? You get damn funny conversation and have all the cb, kns, knn, fu and such type of language coming out, and to push your variety of swearing term to its limit.

While asking a friend if he has moved to his northeast chalet at the super-ulu Punggol.

he: no lah, siao ah? if i move there, then who is going to look after my kids?

me: errr.... then u buy that place for wat?

he: no idea

me: .....

he: u know, that ulu place? you will find more people "rear-ing" pets than "rear-ing" kids. (养动物多 过养 小孩)

So when I ask him when is he planning for the 3rd child, so he can do his "part for the country", he show me the middle finger. And he is definitely not the only one showing me that response. How nice. How straight forward. As the saying goes a picture is worth a thousand words. Indeed.

There rumours going around that this incamp is going to be range. It has been donkey years since I went for my last shoot, and I missed my ORD shoot. I missed my marksmanship rewards. Hey, since they want to give me, I must take lor!

But damn, they say those of Pes C status need to go for medical check up (FFI) to confirm if we are "fit" enough to shoot. So suddenly a sizeable amount of us went to "report sick". Well, I spend half the time trying to get myself on a "comfy" chair and sleep. We all know (ok, guys who have serve the army and report sick BEFORE) that how slow it really is.

Of coz, in between, we got screws up even when reporting sick. What is new anyway? First they tell us to fill in the form and select the options for FFI. They will then check those who are really sick first before coming back to the whole lot of us doing the FFI. Yeah right. Anyway, its ok. As a friend puts it, SAF paid us till 5pm.

So as usual, I just find a "comfy" seat to sleep rest my lazy self(we all believes that the green uniform has miraculous power to make u very tired and can allow you to sleep anywhere, anytime). It isn't that great a sleep. Kept getting "disturb" by the idiots as the medical centre. First they lost the form (in one FARKING hour). I really wonder HOW they did that. So they gather of us and fill in the form again.

Then after I came out of the toilet, they ask me to take the urine test. Oh yeah, what else now? So what to do? Drink lotsa lotsa lotsa water. Trying hard to squeeze a few drops out is seriously tiring. Serious. Next come the eye test.

Why do they want to ask the question of are you able to see without your specs? If I can see clearly WITHOUT my specs, why the hell do I wear it?

medic: can you see without your specs

me: nop

medic: are you sure?

me: yeah. if you insist, then you can try to point to all the letters on the sign and I
go "i cant see" on all of them for you

*laugh out loud from the rest of fellow reservist*

But you will see someone who will try.

After me is another friend. So he tried. He really did. He took off the specs, and then stand there, trying very hard to stare at the signboard.

him: hold on, let me focus for a while

(medic wait)

him: okok (softly)

medic: you sure you can see?

(he goes stare even harder)

medic: you sure you can see?

him: have you start pointing?

(deafening laughters filled the medical centre till someone has to come out and tell us
to keep quiet)

medic: .......

medic: nevermind, put on your specs

See, these are the little things that keep our sanity in check for our incamp reservist.