four better or four worse

Someone send me an email on some tips on how to make your significant others happy. Looking at what is written in the email, I have no doubt it could highly be possible. So people, use it if you want, I don't need it anyway.

How To Make Your Girlfriend Happy, Say:

1. You've lost weight.
2. You look nice without makeup.
3. I've booked the flat already.
4. You cook better than my mum.
5. I think Taufik is cute.
6. Tell me what happened.
7. Let's go shopping.
8. Let's switch off the tv. I getting bored with football/formula 1/golf.
9. What a heck, let's just get the 2-carat diamond ring with my year-end bonus.
10. I don't like woman with big breasts.

How To Make Your Boyfriend Happy, Say:

1. Let's watch the Liverpool-Chelsea match.
2. Here, have another beer.
3. You don't have to send me home, you live on the other side of the island.
4. Let me carry my own shopping bags.
5. So you don't have a car. Big deal.
6. I think you look sexy with love handles.
7. Look at what I've got from Victoria Secrets.
8. Size doesn't matter.
9. Money doesn't matter.
10. Go ahead, stare at that hot girl. Beautiful women are meant to be appreciated.

And yesh, this entry is talking about relationships again, against my better judgement. Probably it is going to bore you fellas our there reading this post to dearth. Ah well, bare with me then or you skip the rest of it. Somehow, right now, my thoughts are on it. I have many other thoughts too but I need to gather them together and compound them, formulate them, tabulate the details and summarize it out for you kind readers.

Mind is kind of clogged, and been sleepy and tired. Been bored. Been feeling down. Well, maybe I should. Going up to the northern territory where our hostile and always giving us water trouble but shopping is cheap friendly neighbour is. This time is a lot closer. Just across the Straits. I am exciting for I'm might be seeing fireflies for the first time. I'm setting myself for up photo blogging and moblogging, if I can figure it out how to use. Who says IT guy knows everything?

So I am out shopping for some company stuffs at a certain place and when I got back to the office, have a little conversation with a colleague.

me: but juz now got one girl quite nice at [certain place] juz now

colleague: then u got motivation to go shopping in [certain place] leow lor. :)

me: hahahha

me: see nia, cannot eat wat'z the point?

colleague: u wanna eat then gotta take action lah... u expect her to offer herself meh?

me: nop, she is holding another guy's hand

colleague: .................

me: tell me how to take action?

One things lead to another, we are back into the topic of relationship again. It seems to be an inevitable topic for gossip. She was complaining about her staff going around seeking advice on relationship. And in the mist of topic, I come up with a couple of questions and thinking.

if both of us are the wavelength, all these are not entirely necessary. if both are meant to be, dun need to work so hard. if fate is to play a good part, things will be smooth. if god sees that i have no worry and create the person, then is the person meant for me?

And she counter me with these instead.

the problem is if your wavelength the same as the gal u like? that will depend on how much setbacks u prepared to take. and with no guarantee success. frankly, for a gal to like you, she has to know u.

Okay, that staff of hers is kind of a queer. Some feels it that way. Sometimes asking too personal questions or asking questions on sparring.

Wah kauz. Go dating and talk about sparring? He sure anot? He looking for world sparring champion to be significant other? I hope he don't. I hope. So I told my colleague this.

that idiot. dunno what he thinking. such boring topic. he should think about how to counter woman, bed as many woman as he can

And while walking back to the office from a certain place, I saw someone selling some paintings along the streets, and somehow I was reminded of ah lim who desperate horny chee hong has a strong desire for the female species and his Qi Bai Shi. So I have some bullshits inspirations for ah lim.

人参会喜事
笑谈齐白石
欢乐与饮食
父母见何时
一别出国事
再见好谈事

Gossip onto th(r)ee

Gossips have always been part of our lifes, irregardless if your knowledge it or not. What spices up a good conversation? Gossips. What prompt for endless laughters? Gossips. What prompt for a good kopi (coffee) meeting up at some of the latest in/chic/cheap/expensive/urban/upclass kopi place and lim (drink) kopi there? Who the hell dun gossip?

And with gossips come social politics. Anything that will associate with the world popular are 101% be related and then link to some form of politics. Anything. Some people just want to be more popular than others. Or high level. Or more links.

Even what started out a nice place for enthusiasts/hobbyists/lovers of that activity/socalists will have politics come running through it, leaving plenty of fingerprints all over it.

Remember back then when I'm involved in a forum that gaining popularity. Back then when I always organise meet up for all kind of sessions, I still do now but on a much slower pace since age is catching up on me. And when another meetup crash with my meetup, I was been said to be trying to gain control. Trying to be political there. What the fark? Grow up people. Grow up. If I wanna go political, what is the point of doing it in one small tiny forum, no matter how popular it is. It is still a small fish in a big pond. I rather go setup my dynasty like what our dear High Overlord has done.

Remember once someone told me, that of all the performing teams around in the scene, this one team is a very nice team. They are not bitchy and very friendly. Yeah, they are not bitchy, but they still gossips. And I say that loud in their face. Be proud. Gossip IS the way of life kopi session. So as usual, we will be discussing gossiping about who is getting married, who shotgun-ed, who-and-who break up, and so-and-so got together.

It is through such gossip that ya learn confirm the shotgun-ed news. The slut is getting sluttier. The bitch is getting bitchier. Even gossips have to be updated fast, faster than the bulls and bears.

There is a peacock that exist in the scene. One who love to show off. Of course, you need to be good to show off. And of course he is good. He is good, but that does not mean he is great. Half the people would want to show off their skill in dancing. Afterall, it takes a little showoff to improve yourself further. To inspire others as well. A little is perfectly fine. Just a little. Like the phrase with a pinch of salt.

Its a total surprise to see a peacock sending out an email telling everyone that salsa is not about technical moves. Its not just able how much technicality you can squeeze into one song. How much turns you can spin yaself and the girl. To quote from the peacock ...a good dance is not turn pattern after turn pattern, but dancing to the music, and making your partner feel good... I am flabbergasted. Totally. And many of us in the scene are just as well, after a light conversation gossip. A peacock speaking humbly. For once I have to agree with that silver-spoon-fed-almighty-nimkumput-brain of that peacock.

I have always got that belief. That theory. That philosophy. Okay, its crap but still, I must say. My blog wahhhhh. You can go ahead disagree with me. I dun care. It is not just about you. It is about you and your dance. One should put more feel into it. One should put more soul into it. One should put more passion into it. And top of it all, there is the music. Dance to the beat is easy. Dance to the music is easy. Dance to the flow of the music and the beat and move your body with such passion and feel is the toughest of it all.

Even someone goes about how she feels he has change for the better, going humble and telling me about it during the Supermario workshop. Kept going like ...been an instructor has humble him alot... humble my arse. I think we just shoot ourselves on our feet. The very next day, I heard through my grapeville, and trying very hard to find the hard evidence, that he wrote an email commenting complaining criticizing how Supermario should be dancing and should be doing more of whatsoever and less of whatsoever. Oh yeah. Do I see his name on any Top 10 list anywhere in the world?

(update [050505] : Strike it off since I think the statement is not fair since I cannot find the concrete evidences. Explain this in a later post)

Do you think Singapore top 10 can compete against UK/US/Europe top 10? Please wake up. Once again, he is just a i-think-i-am-big fish in a small pond. Reminds me of a friend who is our very own local top player for Unreal Tournament. His group of fellow players, who also happened to be among the local top players, went over to States and happened to chance upon States No.1 players. I heard the whole group of thrashed by that one fellow, and my friend was told that even if he is there, it won't make much of a differences. If you ask me, I think I will see that happen to our silver-spoon-fed-almighty-nimkumput-brain peacock.

Someone else commented that you can dance all you want, how you like it. Afterall, that is your dance, your style, be it nice or funny to others. But when you start to criticising on other people, and supposingly someone who have much more credits than you, I dunno what that silver-spoon-fed-almighty-nimkumput-brain peacock is trying prove. But one thing for sure, he has succesfully incensed more people to dislike him. Great. I always love a good gossip, and a good disagreement.

And a friend, and for the sake of her identity, i gotta called her ½ a bitch since she is halfway to a bitch. But actually she is full way there but still, think its my friend lah, so must give her face lorrrrr, if not wait she bites me.

me: i wont let u know
me: but i will bitch abt it the way u wont know
½ a bitch: and ya I know [insert name] reads my blog... so he also kpo to know who is the guy rite? lol
me: trust me on that
½ a bitch: hahahaha
me: blog are good stuffs to dissect ppl
½ a bitch: lol
½ a bitch: my blog have to read with a pinch of salt wan
me: i dun read ya blog
me: in fact i dun even read blog of ppl i know personally
me: except for 2 person
me: so at least they bitch abt me, i wont know :-)
me: i have enuff sadness in me already
½ a bitch: pls lah
½ a bitch: u should read my blog... it's like vitamins.. good for u LOL
me: vitamin i need is moolah...and sex

See? Everyone gossips and that is what is keeping relationship interesting.

Oh, on a side note. During the Supermario workshop, he said i got short arms! WAH KAUZ. I know i got short fingers but not short arms wahhhh. I dun think mine is that short. I compare it with a few people around me and most of them got the same length wah! i heard of too much sex makes you short-sighted but I have yet to hear about too much sex makes your arm short. Then again, not like I have a lot of sex. -shrug-

Two salsa with Mario

Supermario was in town just for a short while, conducting a weekend workshop for the local salsa scene. Oh, more than local actually. We have people flying in from Indonesia and Philippines just to attend his workshop.

It is not a cheap workshop, considered one of the most expensive around in Singapore. The fact that they are calculating by the number of man-hours is worth it as the maths shown. But sadly you are not paying by per man-hour. You are paying by everything at one shot. But I must say its pretty quality stuffs. Most of us agree on it, but just too expensive. I have to say he is very attentive and he really looks around and spot for mistake and people with problems. I think must be me. I'm always spotted.

Of course I have the honour of been called "junior mario" by him. Not because of my skill, but because of my size. And he did mention, size doesn't matter. Now, that is so true. He has proven it all, with his size, he is still very much among the top salsa dancers in UK. So I gotta work hard at improve myself to be worthy of the name. And if he still remember me. IF......

He is that good. That amazing. That fabulous. That fantastic. The girls are all queu-ing up to dance with him the whole night when he dropped by a regular hunt at the local salsa scene on sataurday nite. I heard complaints that some bitches and sluts are hogging him the whole nite that other poor ladies do not have a chance to dance with him. I have a friend who is queue-ing just to dance for him, and refuse to dance with me! WHAT THE FARK?

Ok, her reasons is that she is exhausted from the workshop since she taken up both the intermediate and advance level. Lucky me. I almost do that. Almost. My finance minister rejected my request almost immediately. She is saving her energy for that one last dance. That one good one. That one that might not take place in a long long time.

Tango with one's fury

Caught Tango Fire at our dearest "The Bra", aka "Twin Metal-Spiked Balls" over the weekend. It was awesome. It was amazing. It was fanastic. It was hyper. It was energetic.

So what is tango?

Tango is a social dance form that originated in Buenos Aires and Montevideo. The musical styles that evolved together with the dance are also known as tango. Early tango was known as tango criollo or simply tango. Today, there are many tango dance styles including Argentine tango, ballroom tango (American and International styles), Finnish tango, Chinese tango, and vintage tangos. Argentine tango is often regarded as the "authentic" tango since it is closest to that originally danced in Buenos.

I have to say, this is the first time I have watch a tango performance, and I'm totally captivated by it. Ok, exclude the time when I'm attending the Singapore Dance Master 2005. This is totally difference class of tango. The kick. The sweep. The swing. The throw-about. The moment. The passion. The feeling.

The kicking/sweeping (period me for i know not the term for me no tango dancer. Yet.) between the legs are very quick, fast and sharp action. I wonder if they will dislodge their kneel by doing so much of those quick moment. The only time I recalled having quick lightening fast action between my legs was someone coming in on my groins.

There's 2 half to the show. First half started with a scene in a dancing club where people meet to drink and get to dance tango. There are funny moments to put in the fair bit of humour. You have one scene, which was one that I truly likes, where the guys are getting into a "fight" and its a 3 guys vs 2 guys affair. And how they "fight" using tango. Simply amazing. The first thing that appear in my mind was a Hong Kong movie Para Para Sakura. Another movie from HK back in the 80s that involves competitions and "fighting" using breakdancing is Mismatched Couple. Quite an interesting show then, when breakdancing was all the hype then (wait, do I sound old for experiencing that?).

You even have a scene where 2 couples get to dame like salsa dancers do in rueda. They swap partners, and then they dame again, and its 2 guys dancing with each other, and leaving the 2 ladies standing there, looking at their furiously. This is so funny. Think I shld try this out one day at my usual dance place. I believe the looks on the ladies and the people around will be priceless.

2nd half, you get 3 parters, or rather 3 sessions. The singing, the orquesta tipica, and the dancing. Sorry but the singing was a little too soothing that I kept dozing off. Maybe its all long day for me. Had to wake up early for a salsa workshop, after that go home and have a quick rest, get change and go catch the performance. Its a goddamn sin to ask me to wake up thattttt early on weekend. I will murder anyone for making me wake up too early on weekends without a good valid reason.

Ok, back to tango.

The orquesta tipica was just so good. Full of life. Full of energy. Full of spirit. Full of passion. And the pianist reminds me a little of Maksim, the piano player. If you think tango music is too slow for your liking, you should see them play.

Dancing was no longer choreographed like a play. Its now just pure dancing. So its like taking turns, having the singer(s) doing his/her/their solo, orquesta tipica doing their solos and the dancing (and this is of course done with the orquesta tipica supporting them).

But one thing I hate about watching good group dance performance when it is choreographed to have everyone doing it own set of dances on a fast beat. You eyes just can't keep up with all the moving. You will wonder who you want to catch, who you want to concentrate one. Then you have to develop the rapid eye moment (REM) countermove to catch up, and it takes a lot of concentration. A LOT. And also, a good seat is important just as well. A good distance, a good height, a good angle. Then you will get your perfect enjoyment of an excellent performance. And a little saving on your wallet just as well (watching too many performances in a row is little too taxing on my wallet).

I have always love dancing, to see or to do it myself.

Tango has been on the list of dances that I want to pick up. Doing too many dances is a little too confusing for "junior mario" physique, big thighs, 2 huge left feet. And of course my all important finance minister (the wallet) is definitely not going to be too happy about it.

Think the performance bum it up a little on the priority list though.

Zero Hour

Have you come to a time when people starts to tell you that you are not getting any younger.

Is there a zero hour that you have to settle down and start a family?

Seems like in this one year, I have encounter that more often. And maybe it might get even more.

Am in a middle of a conversation on someone special that someone my future her cuddle buddy (a term by my godmom used on me). Things do not look promising, especially so when your godmom is telling you that you are not getting any younger.

godmom: *pat pat*
godmom: u know, if I were u, I would give up by now
godmom: go find another girl
me: i ask myself that too
godmom: *nod*
godmom: godson, u not so young any more, u know?
me: now godmom is pushing me to get married
me: i wonder if my "nitemare" on sunday nite gotta do wif godmom and my mom
me: wahahhahahaha
godmom: I pushing you to make godmom and grand-godmom lah?
godmom: hahahahaha

And suddenly you get a call in the middle of the night from your mom with a conversation like this

mom: you have sleep yet ah?
me: of coz, if im asleep, i still pick up ya call for wat?
mom: ..........
mom: ok, you know hor, the type of girls that are more compatible with you.
me: you can't be serious
me: what type then
mom: girls that belong to this birth animals....[insert animal 1] ....[insert animal 2] ....[insert animal 3] ....[insert animal 4]
me: .....

And the topic comes to kids, its even more scary.

me: no lah, have kids for wat? so noisy. so scary. so expensive. so troublesome.
mom: where got troublesome? where got expensive? where got scary?
me: but....
mom: nevermind, you go have kids, i take care for you

WAH KAUZ.

No joke! Think most of her sibings are grandmother/grandfather level, so she also want to be ah mah now? No shit. Why is the pressure on me? Where the hell am I going to find her grandkids when I'm still single?

Even friends are asking me, how ah? any target?, when they know that I'm going on a trip to some where with a bunch of ladies. Yeah, I know. Those are the couples that are asking me. Single people dun really bother with that. Most just come out, have drinks, make noise, dance/chat/rant the night away.

So has the zero hour arrive for a family?

NNNnnnoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

Finding someone is not difficult. Finding that special someone is difficult. Finding that perfect special someone is even more difficult. Finding that perfect special someone who return the same feeling is most difficult.

Ask that ah lim who is desperate horny chee hong has a strong desire for the female species. He knows best. He has plenty of experiences to share with you.

And I am still searching.......

If it exists........

U is for Unbelievable

This week is not even over yet and I'm getting surprises already, both good and bad. On day 1 of week 18, I already begin the week with a bad start. Bad omen. Bad stuffs. Bad shit. And still worse shit can still happens.

Flickr is the newest in thing on organizing your photos. Although it has little bugs that still bugs me but on the whole, its a really kool site and great for share out photos. But funny thing is that I do get people having problems with the site. I guess its the flash thingy. So on a relatively slow machine, the site might not look too outstanding.

Got an email from them early in the week.

Hi bishamon!

You may have heard on the grapevine that we planned to
reward our dear Flickr members who bought a Pro Account in
the early days. Well, it's true! And since you're one of
those lovely people, here's a little something to say YOU
ROCK!

1. Double what you paid for!
Your original 1 year pro account has been doubled to
2 years, and your new expiry date is [date].

2. More capacity!
Now you can upload 2 GB per month.

3. 2 free Pro Accounts to give away to your friends!
This won't be activated for a day or two, but when it
is, you'll see a note on your home page telling you
what to do.

Thank you so much for putting your money where your mouth
is and supporting us, even while we're in beta. Your
generosity and cold, hard cash helped us get where we are
today.

Kind regards,
The Flickreenies.

That sure is nice of them. If Apple and Microsoft starts doing that, you will see more people buying original copy instead of the pirated limited edition version(海盗金专版) or even the downloaded version.

Meet up with my sister during ching ming (清 明). So she was reminding telling me that mother's day is coming. Oh yeah, it is coming. So how I asked her. And as usual, I get the standard dunno reply from her. In that case, I told her to go back and arrange with mom to see what she wants to eat, go out for dinner, and AVOID AT ALL COST the actual day.

I dun like to be taken as a robert (萝卜仔) nor tok chai tou (斩菜头). As I alwayz believe, it you are filial, everyday is mother/father/ah mah/ah gong/wheover/whatever day. You do not have to wait till that day to display your act of filial piety in the public. Its all crap. The same goes for valentine. Exact sentiments 1001%.

Then sometime this week, I got an sms from my sister.

Ma say mum day dun go eat. Ask us buy her diamond white gold ring instead.

⌐.⌐"

Guess when I got that msg. I was with this girl who was shopping inside Soo Kee for a ring.

Wah kauz. No better timing. Anyway, I also not interested in that ring, so I went outside the shop to look around instead of standing there like a kuku and look at her trying out the ring. In case the shop assistants give me a why-this-bastard-not-interested-in-looking-at-the-ring look or why-ain't-I-paying-for-it look.

Oh yeah, my mom is getting good now. Getting good at tok-ing her son. Just some time back, ask my sister to sms me to sponsor her a pillow. So I ask,

how much.

100

wah kauz. the pillow sleep liao super shiok ah?

dunno. that is why she want to try.

At times like this, going silence is a good way. However, it seems like sweep the dust under the carpet does not cover up anything, it will bound to resurface. And it did. Days later.

Now got promotion, 69.90. How?

how wat? That good meh? U sure its not some con-artist?

she says dowan to ask u liao, later go buy 4D, win liao can buy liao

oh yeah. buy lah buy lah, i pay lahhhhhh

Now you see, its all strategy. Now you know why X-files tell you to trust no one. Now that I wrote this, maybe I should go get one myself, to see if I can sleep better, and chase my nitemare away.

T is for The-world-is-this-small

The world is indeed very small. So small that I have no little wonder without the need from the like of friendster or ICQ or MSN, you are very likely to bum into friends who are friends of friends.

Several years back, met up with an ICQ friend who is back for holidays from Down Under, who turn out to be a friend of my poly friends who are studying in Down Under.

Today I'm suppose to be catching Boeing Boeing with 2 friends. One friend has been send a reminder yesterday and turn out he is going to fly me kite. He always does. Think I have reach my limit with him. No more appointment with him. If a person cannot remember about appointment with you, is always late, failed to response, think its a good idea to delete the person off the personal list. And its all the more saddening to know that the person runs his own business and yet can kept forgetting about appointments. I think he either failed terribly as a friend or I'm not worthy for him to take note. No point getting all pissed up and shortening my life for such a farker. Just it be. One less farker name to remember.

Well, when I get the notification, I will need to fill someone in on the ticket. Yeah, the farker has yet to pay me but nevermind, no intention to make him pay now. And the lucky person I call up with get the free ticket. And wonderfully mysteriously amazingly, I have no idea that Tuesday is such a hot day that no one can use this free ticket.

Wah Kauz.

What kind of salted vegetable life is that? Free ticket also no one wants? Spend half the day sending out sms to people and they either got appointment, got lesson, purchase ticket already, watch already, having dinner with parents, or whatever reason that is still available. Finally decided to send an email to a fella blogger to see if she is interested. Wow, she is. Finally someone. I am not chee hong. I just hate to see a ticket go to waste. Like with my Mamma! Mia! ticket. Kena airplane/kite/pigeon. Way too late minute to find replacement that one person went to watch it with 2 tickets. You will feel the sayang.

And at the same time, I receive a call from another friend who is supposed to be watching it as well. He lost his passport while on the way to work. He works in Singapore, but stays across the straits. So now he is stranded in his own country, cannot cross the custom to even come in to work! What a way to clear leaves, since he has to clear some leaves by the end of this month. Good. Second airplane just fly past.

He will try his best to get his temporary passport by today so that he can make it in for the play. By noon, I got an sms from him. He can't make it. Now I gotta find one MORE person again. But lucky me this time, the person who is filling in the previous ticket manage to get another friend along, so this time round, I can save some moolah on sms. How nice.

And this friend that is coming along ended up is the farker's friend's friend's friend. Now, is that irony? Or do i call it retribution. The last I heard from my grapevine is that this farker's friend's friend's friend fall out with the farker's friend's friend and farker's friend. Oh well, none of my business. What a small world. She recognise me first. I only find her vaguely familar. Very vaguely. I have no good memory for non chio bus. Poor memory is a perfect excuse for everything that you dun feel like recalling.

Ok, for those who have yet to catch it, but sound interested? Go catch it. Its really funny. It can even entice the audience to feel with the actors. Feeling the anxieties and chaos that they are facing. Maybe I should also ask ah lim is desperate horny chee hong who has a strong desire for the female species.

Ok, the world is so small that who knows, all the mention parties above could be reading this blog.

On another killer note, Mr THK, thank you the you lor! Call some financial con artist planner/advisor to give me some advise. I am so going to kill you the next time I see you.

S is for Siong-and-sian-in-check

What else can be more tiring than a super siong incamp training/exercise?

A cho boh lan super switch-0ff incamp train.

Its very tiring horrrr. Mentally! Trying to sleep in peace without a proper bed. Not even proper ground and siam here siam there to avoid getting caught "sleeping openly". The only way to kill time is to sleep. Ok, we are in the green and been in the green, you can auto turn on the mode to sleep anywhere, almost anywhere. Got ground, no officers, lay down and snore. That is the power of the green uniform.

In SAF, there are 6...or is it 8... or someone updated me that it is 10 but nevermind ... golden rules but no one remember there. But there is just one unofficial one and everyone reminds them by hard. You can do what you want but don't get caught.

This is one hell of a switch off incamp. Even SAF change the way you do your live-firing range. More Counter Strike like. More fun. More reaction intensive. More stressing. More chances of failure. More chances of no marksman. This is SAF, kiasu and kiasi and simi ma ai more.

Most, if not all, sane people simply hate dislike dowan to have incamp training but hey, it can has it own share of fun, if you have fun people around you. It is a good time to catch up on all the old jokes, and seeing the sin jiao (new bird) doing the knock-it-down-recover-knock-it-down-recover game.

And you know it that you are getting old when more and more people are getting married. You know you are getting old when more and more are telling you that they are becoming a father. You know you are getting old when someone make fun of you been old and his birth year is the youngest in the flight.

That cheebye youngest pig.

Nevermind, we decide to tag team and suan him until jialat jiatlat while he was in the middle of the conversation between me and another mate. Nevermind him been young. Nevermind him been no idea of the Tang Dynasty poem. When he goes 低头看 懒 觉 on me, I have to tell him that he is wrong. It is 低头 思 故乡. The conversation is just way to yellow to be post up here. I might get complain letters.

Its all these funny conversations incamp with good mates that help you to pass time, else everything will be such a drag. Siong nevermind. Siong I can tahan. Its bordom that will kills me.

Hitch a ride back on a mate's car. I always know he is super beng. He beng until his music is even more beng. So beng that you will never probably never hear them on local club.

打了一个妹妹开始找些乐子
张开你的嘴,放進我双腿
现在开始用力的吹吹吹
我给你一些game -hey-,你就帮我吹
放進你的嘴巴还说hey hey hey
给我吹喇叭 -hey-
给我吹喇叭 -hey-
就是你請問叫我打开嘴巴
给我吹喇叭 -hey-
给我吹喇叭 -hey-
就是你請問叫我打开嘴巴
(female voice)
hey 哥哥你的老二真的好大
你是不是常常这里(难曼)长大
(male voice again)
这不是老二这是美国大雪茄
如果你很喜欢也可以带回家
(female voice)
但这种形像我真的没看过
而切好像也没有真的那麽大

Hey, this is just an abstract only. I tell you, this song is power man! And I ask my friend to tell me the song title, and he dowan. That is my cheebye army friend. They sure know how to entice you, dun they?

R is for Reservist

After a chatty dinner with a friend, too lazy to move anywhere, so made my way home. It is just amazing how one would be pushing some blames onto the unanimated objects. I was eavesdropping but well, the conversation was a little too loud for me to turn off my audio input human device.

some he: nice photos.
(at this point i lift up my head and look at them, and get on back to my reading)
some her: you know, i really dun like this camera. no nice. the photos it took of me are not that nice.
(think to myself: hey, its not the camera fault. it could be the photographer, or might be the wrong settings, or the poor ambience/lighting/environment)
some he: not really. its very nice.
some her: ney, i think it must be a bad brand for camera. took such ugly photos of me.
(look up at her and think to myself: any brand also took ugly photos of you, unless u got a superb photoshop skill and make up artist)

Hey, I must be getting bored on the journey back, and to think I'm going back incamp training the next day, it aint no fun. Then again, on the bright side, you get to see your army friends once a year. Good to do a little catching up, sweating it out, and swearing together. Its been a while afterall.

Some little things that I hate about the reservist. The goddamn blardie waste of time. What that is bound to cock up bound to cock up(pardon me but I'm on number 4 mode).

What I like about it? You get damn funny conversation and have all the cb, kns, knn, fu and such type of language coming out, and to push your variety of swearing term to its limit.

While asking a friend if he has moved to his northeast chalet at the super-ulu Punggol.

he: no lah, siao ah? if i move there, then who is going to look after my kids?

me: errr.... then u buy that place for wat?

he: no idea

me: .....

he: u know, that ulu place? you will find more people "rear-ing" pets than "rear-ing" kids. (养动物多 过养 小孩)

So when I ask him when is he planning for the 3rd child, so he can do his "part for the country", he show me the middle finger. And he is definitely not the only one showing me that response. How nice. How straight forward. As the saying goes a picture is worth a thousand words. Indeed.

There rumours going around that this incamp is going to be range. It has been donkey years since I went for my last shoot, and I missed my ORD shoot. I missed my marksmanship rewards. Hey, since they want to give me, I must take lor!

But damn, they say those of Pes C status need to go for medical check up (FFI) to confirm if we are "fit" enough to shoot. So suddenly a sizeable amount of us went to "report sick". Well, I spend half the time trying to get myself on a "comfy" chair and sleep. We all know (ok, guys who have serve the army and report sick BEFORE) that how slow it really is.

Of coz, in between, we got screws up even when reporting sick. What is new anyway? First they tell us to fill in the form and select the options for FFI. They will then check those who are really sick first before coming back to the whole lot of us doing the FFI. Yeah right. Anyway, its ok. As a friend puts it, SAF paid us till 5pm.

So as usual, I just find a "comfy" seat to sleep rest my lazy self(we all believes that the green uniform has miraculous power to make u very tired and can allow you to sleep anywhere, anytime). It isn't that great a sleep. Kept getting "disturb" by the idiots as the medical centre. First they lost the form (in one FARKING hour). I really wonder HOW they did that. So they gather of us and fill in the form again.

Then after I came out of the toilet, they ask me to take the urine test. Oh yeah, what else now? So what to do? Drink lotsa lotsa lotsa water. Trying hard to squeeze a few drops out is seriously tiring. Serious. Next come the eye test.

Why do they want to ask the question of are you able to see without your specs? If I can see clearly WITHOUT my specs, why the hell do I wear it?

medic: can you see without your specs

me: nop

medic: are you sure?

me: yeah. if you insist, then you can try to point to all the letters on the sign and I
go "i cant see" on all of them for you

*laugh out loud from the rest of fellow reservist*

But you will see someone who will try.

After me is another friend. So he tried. He really did. He took off the specs, and then stand there, trying very hard to stare at the signboard.

him: hold on, let me focus for a while

(medic wait)

him: okok (softly)

medic: you sure you can see?

(he goes stare even harder)

medic: you sure you can see?

him: have you start pointing?

(deafening laughters filled the medical centre till someone has to come out and tell us
to keep quiet)

medic: .......

medic: nevermind, put on your specs

See, these are the little things that keep our sanity in check for our incamp reservist.

Q is for Queer

Just when I was talking abt 4D number on the death of Pope, he did suddenly passed away. Suddenly caused I did not hear the news until Monday morning. Suddenly cause I have no time to analyst the 4D number. Ok. I cannot be so bad. Anyway, in the end, I never did buy but I did do a quick check, and as usual, none of the hot numbers came up. Weird.

I have one colleague that was calculating the age. So 8484 is one hot number but then, it become 8787 cause you have to add in the dunno-wat heaven age, earth age and dunno what else lah. Wah Kauz, buying 4D is an art.

I even message a compulsive gambler trying to get rich and retired early opportunist if he has analysized the winning number.

me: the pope pass away, u got buy 4D anot

him: wat for siao

him: i not catholic

me: nothing to do wif catholic

him: want to buy also buy "XXX" passaway

me: gambling is an international language

him: wahahhaa

me: wahahha maybe the pope can give u some pocket money leh?

him: u commit the seven sins liao greed u crap

me: wahahhaha i not catholic :-)

him: pope make sure u suay for the rest of the year if u do that

me: wahahahhahaha now that i have no idea

him: u all ah.

XXX is the unnamed one lest his minions found me and I tio received some legal letter, banishing me to down under. On a famous blogger who get fans followers commenting his with a title of High Overlord when he was about to be upgrade to the next level some time back. Frankly, I alwayz called him the emperior. I wonder if we got public holidays for his journey-to-the-west (归西).

Yah lor, so I must say this to all who cash in on the ascension of the pope to join his Heavenly Father.

U ALL AH.

The other day on the radio, one deejay was saying about people without driving license are people who lack ambition and are losers. Weird.

This is my reply.



License is not a necessity. It is good to have but not a must have. Ok. I am one without license and I'm totally ok with it. Okay, I'm going for my advance theory test already. Something which I have delayed for nearly 10 years, since I took up my basic theory test. Still I stress, not a must have, just a good to have.

So later they have ask for sms from listeners on their take of this driving thingy. One of the sms that goes he wont be my fiance if he does not own a car. If I know that guy, I tell him to change a new fark. She is not worth it. That answer simply tells you that should one day you fall into shambles, she is almost certainly bound to leave you.

Isn't it weird that car in Sillypore is not for the convenience of transport but a show of status? Hey, if you are rich, you ARE rich. And rich people dun have to drive, they got chauffeurred around.

P is for Phenomena

While on my trip to our hostile and always giving us water trouble but shopping is cheap friendly neighbour's capital, had this little conversation with a friend while we are to kill time window-shopping since everyone is dispersed in all direction. Own time own target. Its makes everyone's life easy.

him: you know, did u realise she has changed?

me: yah yah. i think so. no longer as bossy. no longer as bitchy. no longer trying to lead.

him: but you can still sense that beneath her, that very character still the same. bit bit it, at times, it can sip out.

me: yah lor. i think she is controlling it already.

him: oh yeah. i wonder....

me: i wonder....

So I really wonder what would change a strong headed woman? Love? Now that will be interested. I'm sure all of us in the group will want to find out which sibei suay lucky guy has the ability to change her.

Just when I step into the office in the morning, a senior manager came to me and ask if I came back late to work.

So a normal response is what time.

Midnight or so?

No lah, siao boh? At that hour?

And he went around question a couple of people and it seems that no one is owning up. His staffs claim to saw lights from at our floor. Wow. Its not even the 7th month and we are having sightings? Wah kauz.

Then again, I wonder if it has got to do with 清 明?

So I suggest to a colleague to put lotsa cross and rosaries in the office. Or maybe stick some talismans on every door in the office?

Pope John Paul II's health is deterioriating. I am not catholic. Not that I'm cursing for his death but some colleagues and I were just having a simple conversation this afternoon yesterday in office about him could be going back to his Father anytime soon. So I was just telling them what are the results in electing a pope and how they go about doing it. They give me a total blank look!

Oh mine, I am a non-catholic and I know more than them? Oh great. Probably I have to thank Mr Brown (this Mr Brown and not this mr brown) for updating me with a good deal of knowledge about the inside of the Vatican. But of couse, you can know more about the election over here. We even talk about the arrival of a cardinal who is to annouce the death of the papal. That probably the death of the pope will not be announced till his arrival.

Knowing the gambling minded singaporean who can even gamble on US election, so I wonder how are we going to gamble on this? The date for his death? The date of the start of the election? The date of the end of the election? Kauz. This is much more numbers than expected. Then again, may be angmoh gui ( 红 毛鬼) not counted? Wait. I have no ill intention of incurring the wrath of any catholics. Spare me the torture. This is just a blog. That is just a conversation. If you dun like it, move off from this page.